Friday, June 10, 2016

BREAKING NEWS


Every presidential campaign season comes with it's own level of stupidity and annoyances from both parties but this year has added a new spice to the mix: BREAKING NEWS

Adjust your TV dial (I know it's not the 1960's, we don't have dials anymore) or AppleTV, news website, magazine or actual newspaper to any and I mean ANY news outlet and you will see the bold words: BREAKING NEWS. Underneath this headline you will then see any combination of the following: Obama supports Clinton for democratic nomination, Cruz supports Trump for republican nomination, Pelosi supports Clinton for democratic nomination, Palin supports for Trump for republican nomination and so on.

How, I ask you, is this BREAKING NEWS? All democrats will support all democrats and all republicans will support all republicans. The republican nominee could be the Dark Lord Cthulhu and ALL republicans will support him. Ragnarok, Bringer of Armageddon, could be the democratic nominee and ALL democrats will support him/It. How is this information 'news' let alone BREAKING NEWS?

Here are some examples of ACCEPTABLE BREAKING NEWS!: Obama supports Trump as republican presidential candidate!, Palin supports Clinton as democratic presidential candidate! Haters NOT gonna hate!, Trump calls on Cthulu as vice presidential running mate!, Clinton names Ragnarok as ambassador to Norway!

I also want you to know that I am saying all of these fictitious headlines, in my head, with that transatlantic accent from the 1950's and it is hilarious....you should try it, like, right now.

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