Monday, July 7, 2014

The Fly

*No Jeff Goldblums were harmed in the writing of this blog.

Two flies have been ruining my life. They cannot be killed; they might even be terminators I'm not sure. We cannot kill them. We set up fly paper and this weird bottle of sugar water that the internet told us to make. Literally, nothing will kill these assholes. A better fly killer/trap needs to be invented but first let's look at the facts.

Flies don't actually want to be on your food, they want to be on YOU. The food is merely a segue to the closest human. These flies only bother me and my husband when we are innocently sitting on the couch sanz food. They just don't want us to watch anime all day long I guess. Jerks.
Okay, we need to create human shaped fly catchers/killers. This fly catcher will still need to be portable for use indoors and outdoors. I suggest an inflatable human and NO not one of those "love dolls" from an adult video store (you sicko). An inflatable human that is dressed like they just want to relax and not be bothered by flies. This inflatable humanoid will emit a sweet smell but then kill those stupid creatures on contact thru it's toxic skin! This item is not yet safe for children because it is still in the prototype phases of construction. Since it will be covered in bug poison, kids will, naturally, want to play with it. If you know of a way I can make this thing kid safe, let me know. This is a Think Tank, after all. I can't be a one woman Think Tank.

No comments:

Post a Comment